The Challenge of Suffering (Episode 77)

The number one reason reported that people say they don’t believe there is a God or if there is He couldn’t be loving is because of all the suffering in the world. Brent and Janis look at the reality of suffering we all will experience at times and the pathway forward to finding peace and hope in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Transcript:

Welcome to Life and Love Nuggets, where licensed therapist Brent and Janice Sharpe share how you can thrive in your life, your love, and your relationships. Hello, friends. Welcome back to Life and Love Nuggets. We have a little different take today. One of the realities that we face in our human journey is that difficult things are going to happen in this life. And we can have really good things going on, and really not so good things going on at the same time. And it's very confusing to many.

It's probably considered one of the number one reasons for people struggling in life. Also, certainly with their faith. If there's a good God in the world, then how could this be happening? And so it causes a lot of stress, a lot of frustration, a lot of questions, can steal joy from our life in many ways. And so how we look at this is really critical. And so today, we're gonna actually join a sermon that I did in our local church sanctuary here in Tulsa. And on just, how do we find grace in the midst of suffering?

Janice and I spend most of our time during the days dealing with people that are dealing with some kind of suffering in their life. And so is this a unique thing that's going on in our modern world? Or has this always been the case? And how do we respond to this? And are there ways that we can approach challenges and suffering in our life that can actually help us grow and strengthen and move forward in a strong way in our life? So listen in to yours truly for the next few minutes. So today, we're gonna talk a little bit about suffering.

Aren't you so glad you got out of bed and decided to come today? You know, we don't have to look very far in our world right now to see people that are in suffering. We see these hurricanes and these tornadoes that are spinning out of them and flooding in strange places as a result from hurricanes. We see those kinds of things happening and the people that are suffering. We see wars. We see ones that have been going on and on. We see new ones that seem to be popping up almost every day.

People are in suffering. We see these mass shootings. I looked at the statistic this morning and we actually are over one a day in the United States. We've just kind of gotten numb to it and don't realize the suffering that goes on. You know, you can see just people at the end of merciless criticism on your social media platform. It creates a lot of suffering for people. And you can, if we had a few moments and we passed the microphone around, there would be a lot of stories in here.

I know some of them where there's suffering that's going on. Matter of fact, the number one reason that suggested that people don't believe there's a God is because of suffering in the world. Or if there is a God, he certainly can't be good if he allows suffering to continue to happen. So we're gonna look at some of our lectionary texts. Most of you know by now that we do follow as a church, we follow the lectionary. It's this grouping of scriptures that are put together each Sunday. There's an Old Testament, there's a psalm, there's an epistle and a gospel text that all kind of correlate and follow the same theme, which helps us understand that the scripture has these themes going through the entire book.

And if you follow those rhythms, you'll have touched really the whole scriptural story in three years. And so it's a cool thing.

It helps us. It kind of guides us as a community. It also challenges us who are speaking that we don't just get to do our favorite texts, but we have to deal with some of the hard things that happen. But if you were to read them in order today, and of course you should always read them in order. No, just if you're my personality, it's okay to read them out of order. But if you were to read them in order, you'd start with the book of Job, and we'd come across this particular passage. It's God's response to the different ways that Job and his friends were interpreting what was happening to them.

One of the important movements of the book of Job is disorientation. Job is one of those writings that upends the way that we think about how God works in the world. If we think like Job's friends that the world works according to a system of retribution where you get what you deserve, the book of Job upends that. Likewise, if we think that God is disordered, that he's not any better than the accuser, or that God doesn't really care about the operations of the universe, the book of Job will upend that belief as well. It challenges us to be very careful with how confident we are in our interpretation of the operations of the world, or even our own experiences. I was taken back when I was reading this to an experience that Mother Janice and I had early in our marriage. We had been married a few years, and we were hoping to have children, and so we decided, I mean, all of our friends just decided that they were gonna have kids, and they started having kids.

And so that's what we thought you did. And so we got pregnant, and it wasn't too long, just many weeks into the process, we had a miscarriage. So right out of the blocks, this didn't work. And we're like, what? It was very disorienting.

It was very confusing. We certainly lost a sense of control and agency, feeling like we can decide things in life. And then our second pregnancy, it turned into who you know as Father Preston 40 years ago. And we loved having a baby, and we rejoiced in that. We knew that it was not the easiest thing to have a baby, and so we felt so appreciative and thankful. And then after Preston was moving along, we thought about having another. And so we got pregnant again.

Miscarriage, disorienting, confusing. We grew to hate ultrasounds. Now you have to understand ultrasounds, back when we had them, were like, it looked like a weather pattern was moving in. I mean, you couldn't really see what was happening, but they said, that's that, and you're like, really? We hated getting blood tests on a Thursday, and they said, we'll get you the results the middle of next week, and let you know whether your baby's still alive. Got pregnant again, miscarriage. Got pregnant again, miscarriage.

Confusion, and one of the most confusing parts of this is we were, again, all of our friends were just deciding to have a baby. And they'd just have another one, and it would just happen. So again, we felt this sense of loss of control, this confusion of what is going on? Is there something wrong here? And we heard people saying all kinds of things, of course. Gave us all kinds of advice, so we stopped talking to people because we didn't want to hear about it. Even if we thought we were pregnant, we weren't going to tell anybody.

But one of the most difficult parts of this is we were working for a large ministry at the time. We had a big counseling ministry. And one of the areas that we oversaw was we had a crisis pregnancy center. We had an adoption agency. We had a maternity home.

We had all these 15 and 16 and 17-year-old girls. The last thing they wanted to be was pregnant. Many of them were from outside the city. Their parents at that time were embarrassed and didn't know what to do. They didn't want their kids going to high school pregnant. And so they were looking. We're trying to provide housing and counseling and so forth.

And we were like, what in the world? God, this doesn't make sense. They don't want to be pregnant. Why can't we have another baby? Very disorienting, very confusing. Now, after our fourth one, actually, or the third one in that series, a few months after that, Janice and I had a moment and we found something very interesting happening inside of us. We both found God.

We found a place of his presence. We found a place of peace.

At that point, we didn't know. Now, most of you know our story. We were blessed eventually to have three more children, but at that point, we had no clue whether we'd have any more kids or not. We just thought this was it. This was what was going to happen and this is going to be our story. And we found a place of peace in the midst of those circumstances where there was really no answer. And we ended up feeling it was actually a place of strength for us.

It was actually a stronger place of faith for us because some of our faith training had been, well, if you love God and you serve God and you do all the right things, then good stuff's going to happen. You can steer your life into good.

We found out, nope. You can be doing all the right stuff and really difficult, bad stuff happens. But we found God fulfilling his promise that he would never leave us or forsake us and that he was actually with us in those moments. And the reason I say it was a stronger place of faith is because our faith had really nothing to do with outcome anymore. It was that whatever we're going through, we could find his presence. And so it was difficult, confusing, but strengthening at the same time. And I always say to folks that good things and bad things are a little bit like train tracks, that they're just right next to each other in our life.

We're going to have good and wonderful things and really difficult things happening all at the same time. The scripture says, in this life, we will have trouble. But then it goes on to say, but we look to Jesus who's overcome the world. But if you've been in faith for more than five minutes, you don't just look to Jesus who's overcome the world and he comes in and snaps his finger and changes your circumstances. But he is present. And so it's in those moments that we find strength. Now, again, we don't believe that God thought, well, you know that Brent and Janice, they really need to work on strengthening their faith a little bit.

So I'm going to cause all this bad stuff to happen to them so they'll get stronger. No, it's not the way it works. It's in this life, we will have trouble. So heaven's response leads to our first reading, heaven's response to Job and his friends. And we came to understand to Janice and I, and maybe to all of us in our questions about faith is in Job 38.4, God saying, where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding, who determined its measurements? Surely you know.

Or who stretched the line upon it? Who took the other end of the tape measure when I was measuring out heaven? But what were its bases sunk? Or who laid its cornerstone when the morning stars sang together and all the heavenly beings shouted for joy? Can you lift up your voice to the clouds so that a flood of waters may cover you? Can you send forth lightnings so that they may go and say to you, here we are? Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind?

Who has the wisdom to number the clouds? Or who can tilt the water skins of the heavens when the dust runs into a mass and the clouds cling together? Can you hunt the prey for the lion or satisfy the appetite of the young lions when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in their covert? Who provides for the raven its prey when its young ones cry to God and wander about for lack of food? Now, of course, God doesn't say this in a sarcastic way or in a way of criticism. As we will see, he actually leads us by his life in the way of suffering. The book of Job will not give answers to why bad things happen.

What matters most in Job is his orientation to God. Job, like everyone else on the planet, is unable to explain the why of the universe. And yet Job consistently turns to God. Though Job's life is turned upside down, Job is known by God. Janice and I will never be able to understand why things happened the way they did in our story, but we ended up feeling known by him, seen by him, loved by him. The story of Job enlightens us that God called Job and each of us into a life centered on authenticity and relationship. We are invited to wrestle with him, with our doubts, our questions, our pain, when things don't go the way we thought and hoped and to draw close to him.

He knows the one that sees the beginning and the end of all things. He knows we don't know what's gonna happen five minutes from now. And he knows this makes us crazy people because we crave control. But the reality is it's very limited, our ability to control anything. So we draw close to him. Vulnerability is the pathway to deep connection and intimacy, whether that's with a friend, a spouse, and certainly with God. So as we are honest and real and wrestle with God, we will find deep connection with him.

In that intimacy with God, our circumstances become less important. Our epistle text, which is from Hebrews this morning, goes on with this theme and says some rather astonishing phrases about Jesus. It says, in the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death. And he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And having been made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him. Now, these prayers that are being referenced by the author probably reference the Garden of Gethsemane, Matthew 26, my father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.

Yet, not what I want, but you want. And then a few verses later, it's revisited. Again, he went away for the second time and prayed, my father, if this cannot pass, unless I drink it, your will be done. The author of Hebrews wants us to see that it was Jesus' divine submission to the father in the midst of suffering, which was so critical. Jesus was ultimately saved from ultimate death, but it was only by going through death, then the resurrection. Even though he was God's son, Jesus still faced suffering. Incredibly powerful image for us.

It's very unique also to the Christian story. Christ's willingness, he willingly took on suffering and death for us. So he becomes a model here for all who are facing suffering. He leads us into understanding suffering by his own suffering. So here. God, in the midst of his own suffering in the life of Jesus, something powerful ultimately was accomplished. In verse 9 it said, The reality is we are pretty broken in our understanding of God and how he works in the world.

We tend to get stuck in Job and his friends' questions. We can't fix this with a band-aid. We can't fix this with easy answers, no animal sacrifices, as the scripture talked about. We needed a high priest who is both one of us and has struggled and suffered as one of us, who has cried out to God in agony like we do, and yet was faithful all the way through, trusting in the goodness and love of the Father when things don't make sense. This is what Jesus has done for us. Therefore, there is no suffering, no crying, no pain that we could experience that Jesus is unable to relate to. He knows weakness.

He knows pain. He was abandoned. He was misunderstood. He was misportrayed. He was rejected. He was lied about. In this, Jesus also embodies what it means to turn to God in the midst of pain.

We may not ever know why we suffer, but we are known by the one who suffers with us. One of the things that Janice and I have the privilege of doing daily is sitting with people that are suffering with all kinds of things, and yes, we hope that we have some things to say to them that might be helpful to them, that might help them see things a little bit different or see themselves a little bit different, hopefully some ways of living life that's more life-giving for them, but in all the 40 years as a counselor, I'm convinced that the most important thing we offer is to simply be with them in their suffering. Nothing we can say is going to make things make sense, but we can be with each other as he is with us. And then finally, our gospel text this morning, as we heard, read this morning from Mark 10, continues to turn our human understanding upside down. From the very beginning all the way through, the gospel of Mark has the cross as the focus. Jesus knew that his vocation was the cross. This is a crucial matter that the disciples totally missed.

They're looking for Jesus to be this conquering king who destroys all of Israel's political enemies, but Jesus continues to speak about his coming death. James and John see this journey to Jerusalem as some kind of a march to glory, and in a sense it is, but it's also a radical redefinition of what glory is. James and John have heard Jesus talk about suffering and death, but seems like perhaps they've only seen it as a metaphor. Yeah, it's going to be tough, but don't worry, we're going to conquer at the end, seemingly is their attitude. But for Jesus, the cross is not a bump in the road. It's not a rough patch along to something else. It is actually God's way of turning the world's ideas of power and authority on their head.

As with Job's view of justice, James and John had to redefine their view of glory. The way of Jesus looks like failure to the narrative of Rome at the time, and to all the narratives of the day. N. T. Wright says it this way, at the heart, Jesus' subversive agenda was the call to his followers to take up the cross and follow him, to become his companions in the alternative kingdom story he was enacting. My proposal, Wright says, is that Jesus took his own story seriously. He would himself travel the road he pointed out to his followers.

He would turn the other cheek. He would walk the second mile. He would take up the cross. He would be the light of the world, the salt of the earth. He would be Israel for the sake of Israel. He would defeat evil by letting it do its worst to him. Turning the other cheek looks like weakness.

Leaving the 99 to go after the one doesn't seem very practical. Death on the cross looks like you were just conquered. The disciples were expecting a mighty, conquering king. They had no expectation of resurrection. Crucifixion meant you lost. Jesus contrasts the way the Gentile leaders carry power with the way power is carried in the kingdom of God. The world leaders lord over them, but in the kingdom of God, whoever wants to become great among you must be slave to all.

The disciples were missing it. No better way than to see James and John's discussion about who's going to be on their right and on their left. I could hear heaven saying to James and John the same thing Janice and I heard, where were you when I created the world? Not only does the way of Jesus run contrary to the Jewish narratives of the first century, but also it translates to our 21st century. Today we see so many that their faith is really a quest for self-fulfillment, success, even wealth, and even a way to control others. Maybe we can control the world enough and get everybody to act right. If we follow Jesus as a means to these ends, we will be disappointed.

Power in the kingdom of God finds its root in self-giving love. We've been marriage counselors for 40 years. The narrative of this world suggests that marriage is mostly about being happy, about feeling in love, about getting my needs met. But we found that the beauty and mystery of marriage is about laying our life down for one another and joining with another, being a reflection of the nature of the love of God in the world. Now that certainly sounds really nice on a Sunday morning. The challenge is when you're both exhausted and one of the kids wakes up in the middle of the night. We're challenged to lay our life down.

Laying our life down doesn't mean we're doormats. Jesus was not a doormat. He willingly chose to lay down his life. So what might that look like in work? We live in a time where often we see the power and authority on the job is about running over the competition and manipulating to get our way. Another story actually involves Father Preston again. So he was in college and looking to get kind of the car that he was going to actually make payments on, and so it's kind of a big deal.

And so we had somebody in the church that referred us to a car lot here in town and a guy that would help us with it, and the guy met us. He knew his friend had called. Our friend had called him and said that we were pastors and helped us with it and kind of walked through the whole deal. We thought we got a great deal. We thought it was working out well. Right at the end as he was handing, pressing the keys, it was all settled and paperwork was done, we were driving out of the parking lot. And he said, you know, I really like helping you people, you pastors.

You're really good folks. Yesterday, I even hate saying this sentence, but it is a quote. I had an atheist liberal woman in here and I gouged her. I took her for all she's worth. Preston and I just like were stunned. Something deeply wrong about the way he's living out his faith. He's in a whole different story altogether in the name of faith.

There's something really sacred in business dealings about both sides benefiting equally and valuing and honoring their work in the way of the kingdom. Now, ultimately, Jesus did have someone at his right and his left as he entered glory. They were both robbers and died with him. The way of discipleship may look like failure to the systems of our world. The beautiful reality is that the cross was not the end of the story. It is the resurrection that infuses the crucifixion with its meaning. But there's no shortcut.

We ultimately find our lives by losing them. Jesus is leading us into a new way of being human. So what is all this saying together? All these texts are about subverting the way that we view God in the world. They're all a movement towards disorientation. Everything is not as it appears, but they are also a call to examine our orientation to God. Are we drawing close to him?

Faced with the insistence of Job's friends that his suffering is because he had done something wrong or his own belief that God just does whatever he wants, he finally hears the voice of God that these perspectives are limited and not adequate. Job is not given the answer he's looking for from God, but given something deeper.

Job is known by God. Like Job, we will not always be given the answers we seek.

The world is complex. It's beyond our understanding. Yet we are not alone. God invites us to wrestle with him. This is the life of faith. Jesus willingly endured suffering for us. Like us, he cried out to the Father to be saved from death, but submitted to the Father's will for a greater purpose.

He leads us into a deeper way of trust, a new way of being human. And finally, in Mark's gospel, the disciples, interested in worldly power, thinking they would have some of the top jobs in the administration, do not know what that means in God's kingdom. In the new kingdom, it is the servant, not the tyrant nor the proud, who is called great. Jesus' love for us as displayed on the cross, this self-giving love, is the foundation of this new world. We're invited to live in this new kingdom. Well, I hope today that there was something that you caught here in the scriptural story that the idea of suffering has been around from the very beginning, and God's not surprised that we're in a struggle, but he has a way to be with us. And so as you wrestle with God in the midst of challenges and difficulties and questions that you might have, we are trusting that you will find his strength, his grace, and his peace.

So for today, go in peace. Blessings as you go. Transcription by CastingWords www.castingwords.com