Surprising Ways to Improve Your Mood • Episode 40

We all long for joy and happiness in life. Brent and Janis explore some proactive ways where we all can improve our mood, regardless of our circumstances. They introduce some quirky and surprising strategies that current research is now uncovering.

The Life & Love Nuggets podcast will help you learn valuable insights into relationships, life, and love. Brent and Janis have been empowering couples through pre-marriage and marriage therapy in their private practice, Life Connection Counseling, since 1982. They recently retired after forty years of pastoral ministry and are continuing to help individuals, marriages and families in their private practice.

The podcast is produced by Clayton Creative in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The content should not be considered or used for counseling but for educational purposes only.

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Transcript:

Hello friends, welcome to Life and Love Nuggets. We're so glad that you're here. We've been doing this really long series. People have probably been going enough already on love, lies, and betrayal. How do you recover from being hurt and betrayed in life? We spent a lot of time talking about that in marriage, and we looked at other kinds of relationships. It's been pretty heavy.

We thought we'd do something a little lighter. How do we find joy and happiness in our life?

We all want that. We all long for that, but there's a lot of stress in the world. There's a lot going on in the world that this can be elusive. It's hard for our circumstances to always produce happiness and joy. This is just human life. We're going to struggle. We're going to have issues in life. Our circumstances are going to be up and down, but what if there are things that we can do regardless of what's happening around us that can improve our mood and help us enjoy the journey better? It's obvious that everybody's under a lot of stress because all you have to do is look at your daily newsfeed, and you're going to find articles on how to be more happy, how to be calmer. There's a lot of advice out there. There's a lot of different ways that most of us have heard that help improve our sense of well-being. We're going to talk about a few of those, but then we also want to talk about some surprising ones. Ones that when we saw them went, oh, that's interesting. I wouldn't have thought of that. The first one that most people know is the gratitude journal, and that's simply writing down five things I'm grateful for. You can do it in the morning. You can do it in the evening. You can do it anytime during the day, but to remind yourself of all the good things that are going on in your life and all the good things you've been blessed with. Some people will write down ways they've seen God show up, ways they've seen Him in their lives, but whatever it is, it's being thankful for what we have. There's a lot of studies that have proved what a difference that makes in our mood.

Certainly exercise. I mean, probably the most powerful antidepressant on the planet is exercise. With no side effects other than sore muscles.

Absolutely.

With this God-designed way that our body works, if we move it, it can really help us. It promotes all kinds of changes in the brain, including neural growth, reduced inflammation, new activity patterns that promote feelings of calm and well-being. It also releases these little things called endorphins, these little powerful chemicals in our brain that energize us, that increase our spirit, make us feel better. It can serve as also a distraction, get us moving away from stressors and giving us a break from just the cycle of negative thoughts that can feed depression. Which is why when our kids were little, I ran consistently three to five times a week. People would say, oh my gosh, with all those little kids, you're so consistent. That's really impressive. I would say, no, it gives me 30 minutes to an hour to be all by myself and have no one talking to me or saying, mom, mom, mom, mom.

Yes. It can alleviate anxiety, depression, and those that work out regularly, it can give you a sense of well-being. Now, again, these are things we do whether we feel like it or not. I have a certain regimen, certain things I do on certain days. I don't know that I ever wake up going, it's a run day, or it's a weight day.

Yay. But it's what I do on those days, and I've done it long enough to know that if I don't, it just affects things. If I do, oh my gosh, I'm always happy at the end of it. I can tell that it has impacted me, that it's done something significant. So it's, again, regardless of our circumstances, regardless of whether I wake up extra stressed or with anxiety or whatever, it will make a difference. It's the best thing you can do if you wake up stressed or depressed. It's just the hardest thing to do.

Yes, absolutely.

The other thing is, we've been told along a lot with self-care things of just go take a bubble bath. Well, not all of us like bubble baths that much. Not all of us have the time to take bubble baths. So one of the later studies out that I've seen is that showers, either hot- I guess this would be after exercising. This would be after, and they are perfect timing. We're getting their daily routine.

That's right. Morning routine is right here. That's right.

So after exercising- Or whenever. Yes. Yeah, whenever.

If you take a hot or cold shower, it actually affects your mood. So if you take a hot shower, it's relaxing. It's good to do that at night. If you take a cold shower, it's energizing. So it's a good thing to do in the morning to get you going. I'm going to exercise to get energized and then take a hot shower. I'm not real thrilled about cold showers. Is anybody?

I guess there's people who are. So one of the things I tell my clients is no matter how you feel when you wake up in the morning, I want you to hear my voice saying, get in the shower. You can cuss at me. You can say terrible things about me the whole time, but just take a shower. You will feel better.

So another one is reading a fun book. And we emphasize fun. I talked to a lot of people about reading and something that is just of interest to them or a story carries them away and they get caught up in it. I think adults really need that to where we can get- Is this not work reading? This is not work reading, not Facebook, not the news, and not even necessarily self-help books.

Right.

When I ask how much, well, they feel like they need to tell me, well, I read my Bible and I read books on this and this.

They're all self-help books. And I go, those are wonderful.

Okay.

Yes.

Fantastic. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about a distraction. I'm talking about an escape. I'm talking about just getting into another world. We need to unplug as adults. I have a hard time unplugging. How do we get into something that's fascinating to us, something that's fun, something that gets us kind of in another world? I know, I mean, you've always been a reader, always, always, always. I wasn't as much. I remember now, I was a pastor and a counselor. I always read serious stuff. Most mornings still we read- You serious? We read devotional stuff. We read the scripture. We do a kind of a daily office thing that we follow every morning. And then we'd go on vacations and you'd be like, before Kindles, you'd have a stack of books that you would carry with you. Our luggage has gotten much lighter since Kindles. And so here I'm on the plane and I've gone through the magazine for the fourth time.

It's like, what the heck? It's like she gets lost in these stories. And so I remember one day stopping at an airport connection and picking up a book. And it was kind of an action adventure. My character was saving the world, I was vicariously saving the world to this character. And I was like, oh my goodness, this is unbelievable. Now this was a couple decades ago. The most relaxing I have now is just reading. And so most every night we both fall asleep, kind of in a story. And so something like that. And so now we ask people, do you read? And some are like, well, I listen to stuff. And that's fine.

You can listen to our podcast or you can listen to a book on audio. And so those are fine. Just getting involved in a story that can be wonderfully mood changing. Yeah.

The other thing to help our moods, and we dropped off this a lot, even after the pandemic when we could get with people a lot, is getting with friends. You know, I have so many people that will say, I don't have friends. And then I'll go, well, have you had friends? And they're like, yeah, but we really haven't had much contact since the pandemic. We need friends.

I mean, we can't pick our family, but we can pick our friends. And so these are the people that we can get together with. They have history with us. They know the good, the bad, and the ugly. And just being with them, whether it's coffee or going for a walk or meeting for lunch, just being with them can really improve our mood.

Yeah, absolutely.

So another one is going outside, just getting out. So many studies really mounting evidence that lots of researchers that nature has benefits for both physical and psychological human well-being. Lisa Nisbet, she's a PhD, a psychologist at Trent University in Ontario, Canada. She studies connectedness to nature. And one of her quotes is, you can boost your mood just by walking in nature, even in urban nature. And the sense of connection you have with the natural world seems to contribute to happiness, even when you're not physically immersed in nature. So it can be as little as walking in a park or hiking or even sitting in the backyard. I, you know, in our Oklahoma summer, we've been under this heat dome a lot. And so we have these beautiful planters around the pool in the backyard. And they need to be watered like every day.

If you don't. At least once a day. Yeah, they're like gonna die on you. And thank you for doing that, by the way. And I noticed just getting out there for just a few minutes and carrying the hose around and just looking at, I mean, this is not naturally something that I do, you know, but I've noticed I actually look forward to it every day now. And I go out there and it's quiet and think of to see how they're growing and new blossoms are on the, really helpful. Another way to improve our mood is to help people. You know, it could be going to a soup kitchen. It could be volunteering at your kid's school or at your church. It can even be helping somebody put their groceries away or put groceries in their car. There's a lot of things that we can do. And those things, just the act of giving can really increase our satisfaction, our joy and our happiness in life. You know, it's interesting.

Go ahead.

It is interesting that even, you know, particularly that several of these, the scriptures talked about these from the very beginning and, you know, God knew how he made us, you know, so when we give and we think about others first and we care for others, which is the definition of love, it's an action word that we do something for others. Not only we do it because we're told to do it and this must be a spiritual thing to do.

This must be, I'll please God. Then God's going, no, it's going to help you. Yes.

This is for you. This is for you. You're going to feel better. It's going to, something comes alive in you when you think about others. And so again, all of these can be helpful, but we've kind of come across a few kind of quirky ones, kind of odd ones that are kind of fun and it kind of caught our attention. So let's talk about those for a few minutes. So this one caught my attention.

Get Botox.

Botox has been used in different studies to determine if injecting it in the frown lines so that you cannot frown will improve our overall mood. And what they found was people who got Botox in that area and they have lower measures of depression, anxiety, and irritability. Even though there was no significant difference, or how do I say this? Even though they were as happy with themselves, with their appearance after as they were before. So in other words, it had nothing to do with appearance. It had to do with the ability to actually frown. When they couldn't frown physically, they were happier. Just something about smiling. Not frowning at least. Not frowning at least. It made a difference.

That's so good.

Wow.

So fascinating.

Yeah.

So Michael Lewis, who's a psychology professor at the University of Cardiff, says he favors the theory that facial muscles influence brain activity directly and points to earlier research that suggests there's a neurological link. So for example, if someone has an angry expression, if they're looking at you with a frown, you're going to feel more negative. So if you have the Botox, it's easy for me to say, if you have the Botox and someone frowns at you, it will have less of an impact on your mood. So in other words, if you see someone frowning at you, your amygdala, which we've talked about, that primitive part of your brain, yes, it fires up. If you encounter the same person with Botox in your forehead, it actually calms it down, which I think is so interesting. So if you don't want to go to the trouble or you're scared of it or the expense of Botox, there's also a natural cure. There's something very similar that can help. Studies have shown, and I would love to have watched this study, studies have shown that subjects that are watching comedy routines, they find them significantly more funny when they're holding a pin between their teeth the way a dog holds a bone. So what that does is that simulates, it uses the same muscles as smiling. So if you have that pin or if you're smiling, you're going to find things a lot funnier than if you did not. And they took people and had them put the pin between their lips, which simulates frowning, which I think you should demonstrate all these for us. I think it's really funny.

Oh my gosh.

But they found that just holding the pin in the way that you're smiling actually triggers brain chemicals related to positivity. Even when the smile isn't genuine, just mimicking the facial activity of holding that pin in your mouth is enough to generate more positive emotions. So it goes along with the AA saying, fake it till you make it. If we act happy, then we're actually telling our brain that we are happy. So we can make a choice in what we do with our face. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands and smile. Now, do you need to tell the story about Botox?

I think you do. I don't know.

We'll decide whether we edit it. Be just real general.

Okay.

So I had a group of women and we were going to look at a retreat place for a women's retreat. And we stopped at this cute little cafe to have lunch. And we started making jokes about Botox. And the waitress came over, no offense intended to anyone who has this accent. Let me say this, Beth Moore has a similar accent and I adore her. And she said, are you all talking about Botox? And we said, yeah.

She goes, well, if you want some, I've got some in my trunk that's just about to expire. My mama and I have to use it up before it expires. So if you want some, I'll go get it. Get it from the trunk of my car. And we were like, okay, thanks.

So I have not had Botox from the trunk of a car that's just about to expire.

Please don't do that. Yeah, please don't do that. Okay, another one is posture. Just the way you sit. There's a study that talked, several studies that talk about that sitting in a slumped position makes you feel more fearful, even hostile, nervous, quiet, still passive, dull, sleepy, and sluggish. While sitting up straight is associated with higher self-esteem, less social fear, and fewer negative emotions. Again, this is a study from health psychology. Moving your body in a specific direction, such as taking a power pose, or putting a smile on your face, which we just talked about, has shown to elevate mood. So there's something about just posture, you know? Between an upright posture and people have more positive self-perception. One of the things that I loved in one of the studies is that if you do the Superman pose, so you put your hands on your hip and you put your shoulders back, if you do that- I'll do that right now.

Right now.

If you do that for two minutes a day, it increases your confidence and has been shown to help people produce better at work. So, da-da-da, we're all gonna be Superman from now on.

That's awesome.

Oh, colors.

Colors are another thing that affects your mood. We've all heard that, but you have the chance to make a difference by what color you paint your house, what color you paint your rooms. Shades of blue cause a calming effect. Shades of red cause activity. They make us a little bit more hyper or more energetic. There's a whole lot of different, as you look at the different colors, there's different moods that they evoke. Green, of course, evokes nature.

So that will have that calming effect as well.

Yeah.

Obviously, this is really obvious, but just singing. And now, I'm just so jealous of people that are musical, whether they're playing an instrument or whether they can sing. Because I just, I didn't develop that, didn't get that gene, didn't develop it. But I enjoy singing. I mean, it's best if I'm singing in a group or in a shower. But it's suggested, studies say, that just singing out loud, top of your lungs, enjoying it, whether you're following along with music. Obviously, this is why people go to concerts all over the country. This is why people sing in their cars to music. But just purposely, maybe it's just on your drive to work, just turn it up and sing, rather than just listening.

Sing. Sing. Group singing has really been shown to increase a sense of belonging and connection. Again, purposeful things we can do. So if we wake up and we're stressed and anxious about the day, maybe just singing on the way to the office is.

Or singing in the shower. Is the most helpful thing we can do. The interesting thing was, it doesn't matter if you're a good singer or not.

Absolutely. As long as your family's okay with you singing out loud and you're a very bad singer.

But it does. It really helps improve your mood. Houseplants are another thing. So go to the grocery store, go to the plant store, and get some houseplants. They not only purify the air, but they're mood boosting. It's the benefit of just being surrounded by plants. I think it mimics the outdoors. It mimics nature. It gives that sense of calm. Now the nice thing is, they're back in style. When we first got married, they were very in style. And we had an apartment full of plants. I think I had 100 plants at one point. And then we moved into the 90s and everybody got fake fig trees that they put in the corner.

So we're back. We're back to a healthier place now. Our kids are starting to get live plants.

It's awesome.

Very, very helpful.

Another one is pet an animal. Obviously, if you're a pet owner, you know this. There's something about just stroking an animal, having an animal come and put its head on your lap. And be glad to see you when you get home. Yes, I mean it's very powerful, very mood altering. Studies have shown that petting and playing with animals reduces stress-related hormones in mere minutes. Something that can happen just in a minute. And so it also, playing with a dog or cat raises our levels of serotonin and dopamine, which increase our moods. And I would just say, even if you don't own one. I mean, don't steal the neighbor's dog. Don't steal it, but offer to watch your friend's dog or something on their vacation, or cat sit for them, or go to a petting zoo. Again, most zoos have something where you can actually go physically touch the animals. And so again, regardless of our circumstances, regardless of what our environment, going on in our environment, we can be purposeful about it.

Yes. Does this mean I'm getting a puppy for Christmas? Mm, I don't know.

We'll think and pray about that, shall we? Okay.

Another one is doing something artistic or creative. Painting, doodling, making some kind of art makes a difference in our sense of well-being. It's also very helpful in grief. Even if it doesn't look good, even if it means nothing, it's very helpful for us to process some negative emotions and to just feel more at peace. You know, when we were in spiritual director training, one of the things they had us do was we made collages as one of our assignments. Do you remember that?

No.

When they first gave us that assignment, I felt a little silly being an adult sitting there cutting things out of magazines and putting them on paper. I felt really silly. I'm sure you did, but. But it was good. But it was really powerful, especially for me at the time that I was grieving the loss of my sister. It was so good for me because we'd just found out that she'd passed away and there was something really healing in doing something creative.

Yeah, love that. And then the last one, I was really impacted by a study that I heard about. And again, just thinking about what the Creator knows about us and how He designed us and the deep love that He has for us. This was a study that suggested that if we spend 10 to 15 minutes a day just pondering the goodness of God and how much you are loved, that can actually change our DNA just by pondering that. Which suggests then we can then, our DNA is passed down to the next generation and the next generation and the next generation. And so we can literally change our legacy by a few minutes of just pondering the goodness and the love of God. I was always moved by the statement, and many of you have read The Shack many years ago, Paul Young's book, and several times the main character that when he's being talked to by God in three different forms, it was said to him, and God is particularly fond of you. I just love that. And I really think that's true for each and every one of you. I'm so fascinated by, we've talked about this before, just our thumbprints and our fingerprints. That it separates each and every one of you you've been made in the image of God, and you're a reflection of him. He loves the world by making you.

And you reflect a unique part of God, and that fingerprint suggests we are the only us that's ever been.

Or ever will be.

And if you can grab a hold of this sense that God loves you that much, that he's made you that unique, and he loves you that deeply, and he's particularly fond of you, that it can not only change your mood today, but it can also impact generations to come. So hold on to that, and I think that's one of the reasons we struggle even with how God thinks of us. I think that's one of the poisons in our culture is that, well, God's not really fond of me. That he's not happy with me or whatever. I think that's kind of the worst thing that can happen in our psyche, is to misunderstand the real nature of God. And so grabbing a hold of the truth of God's love for each and every one of you is the most important thing that we can do for our life and for generations to come. So, man, just a few ideas to hopefully help you in the journey of life, to be able to enjoy it at a greater level. So bless you as you go.

Go in peace. The Life & Love Nuggets podcast is a 501c3 nonprofit and is supported by gifts from people like you. To donate, go to lifeandlovenuggets.com/donate. This podcast is produced by Clayton Creative in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The content should not be considered or used for counseling but for educational purposes only.