Lent: What is it? (Episode 86)

Brent and Janis discuss a long term practice in the church: Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter and how it can be enlightening and help develop important rhythms in our daily life. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Life and Love Nuggets, where licensed therapist Brent and Janice Sharpe share how you can thrive in your life, your love, and your relationships. Morning, friends. Welcome to Life and Love Nuggets. We're glad that you're back with us.

Today, we're gonna... I always say this, actually. We do something a little... We're doing something a little unique today. Yes. We're unique every day. Yeah, exactly.

We have this really good friend of ours who's moved out of state now, and he texted me a picture the other day of a cross on his forehead made out of ashes. And it really brought a smile to my face because I know what this really means to him. I wasn't raised in a Christian tradition, which was... I was raised American Baptist. We didn't really mark the seasons of the church. I think, you know, this is Lent this season. That's why he went to a Lenten service.

That's why he had these ashes on his forehead. Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday. I think you were raised in a Methodist church, so you were raised in that kind of tradition. Yeah. I remember... You know, I don't remember that much about Lent particularly being talked about, but I do remember that they would change the colors on the altar, and it would match the pastor's stole that day in the color.

And so I know we observed the seasons, but I wasn't really that aware of it as a child. I do find myself, though, when I run into somebody in the store and they have the ashes on their forehead on Ash Wednesday, it's just a, oh, that's so sweet, the reminder of people throughout the world that are celebrating Lent. Yeah, and so what is this? Did I say celebrating? We're gonna... Honoring the... Observing. Observing. Yeah, there you go.

And so there's something about the different seasons of the church. If you're in this kind of tradition, you'll know the word Advent, those four weeks leading up to Christmas, and then Christmastide, and then Epiphany comes after that, and then Lent. And we're gonna talk about what that is actually and kind of why we're talking about it on this podcast. Then we have Easter, and then we have Pentecost, then we have Ordinary Time. And so it's something that churches do and they've done for... Centuries, kind of this rhythm of understanding the movements of faith. And so over the last 15 years, we've had the privilege of being in a church experience that has practiced these rhythms, and we've really come to love this rich meaning underneath all this.

Now, our purpose today, again, is not to go into depth on this, but is to simply acknowledge that these different seasons represent the different elements of a life in Christ, and they're yearly reminders for us of these important experiences of faith. The reason we wanna talk about Lent today, so let's take it all back, and this is life and love nuggets, okay, is that we believe it represents a really critically important movement in our faith journey, is it represents the ongoing process, an ongoing process that is significant for us to thrive in our life, love, and relationships, which is what this podcast is all about. Lent is practiced in the church, the season of 40 days leading up to Easter. It starts with what we were talking about, our friend, Ash Wednesday. And it's a day to remember that we are but just dust, and to dust we shall return. It's really considered, these 40 days, it's really considered a desert season. Jesus went into the wilderness and was tempted.

But it also can be a planting season, which is Jesus gave his life and was then planted so that we can receive the benefit of the resurrection, which we come to celebrate in Easter. We oftentimes find that we don't really fully understand and appreciate the power and significance of Easter if we haven't actually had a desert experience before that. And so it's this recognition of our deep need for God, that we're created beings, that we're limited, which we don't like, we don't like to be limited, and that we find our fullest expression in him. So that's kind of what this movement is. And so how does that help us as individuals is what we're gonna talk about a little bit. Yeah, I love Psalms 103 when it says, he remembers or he knew how we were formed. He remembers that we are but dust.

That may be my interpretation of it. But I love that whole idea of God understands that we're limited. He knows that we are created beings that are dust, but he's not limited. And I think for me, Lent is that time to help me remember he's God and I'm not. So I'm not gonna have some control over some things, but I can surrender my life to him. Yeah, and it's this also recognition that he gets, he doesn't expect us to do stuff. Sometimes we expect something out of ourselves that he doesn't even expect.

If he sees us that we're just dust, that we're just very limited, then he's not as frustrated with us as we sometimes think he is. And oftentimes we're harder on ourselves there. And so this movement is recognizing our own need for him. We often say that our greatest strength is being aware of our greatest weakness and presenting that to God so that he might strengthen it, he might breathe life into it, that he might give healing and restoration from it. Now, it's not about us feeling shameful. This is not a season where we're all supposed to feel bad about ourselves. You're a worm, you slime.

It is simply an ongoing self-awareness that we tend to go our own way and can get off track of his best plan for us. And so it's that there's something we found in our work as pastors and counselors that there's a strength in that to be aware that, okay, this is an area that I don't do well in, or this is an area I keep slipping into. And that that recognition is really critical for our own health. And I think it's also important to realize that anybody can slip off track. I mean, that's a normal thing for us to do. That's why I love that song, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, where it says prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. All of us can get distracted with the things of life and just kind of lose focus on God and the things that he has for us.

We wanna be about the things of God, but we get off track. And so I love the verse that goes farther on where it says, take my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above. So it's, Lord, I can't do this on my own, I need you. And Lent is a season to be aware of what's going on within us right now, because we can easily slip into autopilot and have a life that we're not really looking at what's going on in our lives or on the inside of us. Now, we all know people, and there's many people in the world that will go through life never really growing, never really changing, because they're unaware or they're in denial about their own brokenness. There are many that would respond to the need for repentance, which the season of Lent is about repentance, is, well, I'm a good person. If there was something I did wrong, I would repent and apologize, you know, because they're not an ax murderer.

They feel like, well, I'm a good person. I don't cheat on my taxes. And this person will most likely live in the same path they're going on currently the rest of their life. Paul, one of the greatest leaders in the scriptural story says this kind of strange statement, and we've talked about it before. I've learned to boast in my weakness, which is an odd combination of words. I've learned to boast in my weakness because it's in my weakness that I am made strong. It's been that recognition, that humility, bringing our own brokenness to God is when we actually change, and new life happens.

And so all change starts with this self-awareness of our need to change. We recognize this in counseling. If people just aren't aware there's a need, it's not going to happen. No change will take place. And so Lent is this yearly reminder of what should be going on in our daily lives, and that's kind of what these rhythms of the church do. It just keeps reminding us of these really significant movements of the Christian faith, and every year it just kind of reminds us that we should be putting these pieces and these parts of faith into our daily lives. So it's this yearly reminder of that we need God's continual guidance and strength to grow and keep turning back to him to live the fullest life that he's designed for us.

Now again, repentance is the main theme of Lent, and repentance just simply means turning a corner. Instead of going this direction, I'm gonna turn a corner and go in a different direction. And so it's this acknowledgement of a need for change, and then I'm committed to doing that. And so instead of going the direction of my own desires, my own plans, my own thoughts, I'm gonna turn a corner and go back to God's way, trusting his best for me. Yeah, I think sometimes we just need that reminder of I'm not living this life just for me. I have dedicated my life to God, and I choose to seek him in how I should live. But again, with all the distractions of life and all the things we can get caught up in, it's easy to just live life for us and to go, it's not that I forgot you, God, but I kind of went off in this own direction in my plan.

And Lent helps pull us back to, and the seasons of the calendar pull us back to, my life is dedicated to God, and I want what he wants for me. So let's, again, properly understand repentance, the idea of this. It's not about causing us to feel bad again, that we just need to feel bad about who we are. It really is, and we use the word conviction, that comes from God, because he will. I mean, he's designed us. He wants us to thrive. He wants us to live the highest level of life, to be able to represent him in the brightest way to the world. And so if we are going a certain direction that is not productive towards that end, he's gonna get our attention, because he, if our kids are running out in the street, we're gonna get their attention.

Don't do that. You can get hurt there. And so we use that term conviction, and so we have this opportunity to see our missteps and to turn back. And this is the work of the Holy Spirit that comes from a place of God's never-ending love. I always say it's a fixed love that can't change. He would say to all of us that there's nothing you could do that would cause me to not love you anymore. That's not possible.

It's just, this is not best for you. You're my creation, my beloved, but what you're doing is not best. So let's stop, turn a corner, and come back, and I'll show you a better way. Yeah, it's always in love. It's never, you are so bad, I can't believe you did that again. When are you ever gonna learn? I am so ashamed of you.

Get your act together. That's never the voice of God. It's impossible for him to be ashamed of his creation. He loves us fully and completely. It's just he wants us to live in a way that is healthy and good for us. So if we hear that condemning voice that, oh, you're so bad, that's when we have to push that voice away and just say, I need to make some changes, but God loves me fully and completely, and he's there with me to help me make those changes. So the difference is we may do bad, but we're not bad.

And now the confusing part of this, I always say it's the two Cs, conviction and condemnation, that are flying at us all the time. The confusion is I think we've had well-meaning people in our life that have used condemnation or shame to try to manipulate our behavior. That if I can make this person feel bad enough, then they won't do bad anymore. And unfortunately, and we're not gonna go into all that detail, but unfortunately it's counterproductive. It kind of does the opposite. And so, but it's learning how to siphon through those two differences and receive conviction because that comes from a loving God that wants good for us and push back condemnation. It's so interesting in counseling how often we have people say, yes, I'm just really bad, or do you think I'm a bad person?

I think you're a human person. I think we're all human and we have flaws and we go the wrong direction, but God doesn't see us as you terrible person. And so Lent is this purposeful time where we go to God with what I call the David prayer, which is, Lord, search my heart and see if there's something that's not right, that's off kilter, that needs your fresh touch and strength to adjust. And we can pray that prayer openly and confidently if we trust his goodness. If we think he's disappointed in us or ashamed of us, then I don't know that I really wanna talk to him about that. But once we are convinced of the nature of his love, then we can pray that consistently because we know that he wants good for us. He has our best interest in mind.

And so this is this healthy rhythm that helps us thrive in life. And so what are we repenting of? Well, simply sin, we use that word. And people have all kinds of baggage and scars from that word. One of my definitions for sin, and it's simply an inappropriate response to a real and legitimate need. We all have real needs in our life, to feel loved, to feel important, to feel respected, to feel peace, to feel valued, to not be anxious. These are all legitimate needs.

We even have, we're created sexual creatures to enjoy this. So these are all God's good gifts for us. And God has a certain way for those to get met that's gonna be life-giving. And if we don't know how to find that in his plan, then there's like a gazillion, I don't know how many zeros that is, but like a gazillion counterfeits that will try to convince us, well, this will make you happy. Just one more scroll on social media, you'll find something that will help you feel better. Or with one more purchase, you'll get this adrenaline rush that'll excite you. Work harder and you'll get your value from that.

And, or this will, chemical or whatever will help you just numb out and not be anxious anymore. And so there's all these counterfeits. Unfortunately, I always say choosing counterfeits is like drinking salt water. It looks like it will quench your thirst. I mean, if you're in the desert and you come up over a hill and you see the ocean, it's like, oh my gosh. Water. Water, more than I could ever need.

But the moment you drink salt water, it just makes you thirstier. And that's what counterfeits do because they're not pure water. It's not the thing that God designed. And so we're taking our counterfeits to Him. So repentance is really about acknowledging our counterfeits, those things that have gotten our attention or time or energy that take us away from God. And we turn back then to God. So what are some of the practices of Lent other than on an Ash Wednesday, having a little cross put on your forehead?

What does this look practically? There's some different kinds of things that people tend to do during Lent. One of the things we encourage in the line of what we're just talking about is if your church offers it. We kind of sit with people every day doing this. And now this might be a trusted friend, but just even a time of confession, a time of, sitting with somebody and saying,Hey, this is what I'm still struggling with. Now, don't do this with just anybody. We have a whole podcast on safe people.

Yes, but the idea is having a human that would sit with us and remind us that we are forgiven. Sometimes we know that in our head, and yet we find ourselves slipping back into the same old pattern again, and we're thinking surely God's finally like a little irritated with me. Yeah, he's sick of dealing with this. Come on, dude, can't you get your act together? But having a person that can sit with us and just speak over us that you are forgiven, that God casts your sins as far as the east is from the west, which means they're like no more. Right. He forgets about them in essence.

And so that's a, so even again, whatever your tradition looks like, but whatever confession looks like, you know, I can always tell oftentimes in a first session where somebody has been holding something, they've never shared this with another human and they're wondering how I'm going to respond. And the fact that I can just sit with them and they know that I care about them and love them and want to help them, you can tell huge healing happens just in that moment. And so there's something about that, that the church has found some real significance in. It also is a time where people choose to fast some things, where they give up some things. And I think people wonder what are we, why are we doing that? Are we just trying to make ourselves miserable again? And no, no, it's, first of all, it's never a have to, it's simply, we're simply trying to fast them to give up something that captures our attention, that actually draws us towards, um, again, we're captivated by this thing that we think is going to be what we need.

And it's just paying attention to those things and giving them up. Cause so often we don't realize that's what we're doing. Sure. It's like I had a bad day. I'm going to do this. We don't think about it as, Oh, that's drawing me away from God. It just becomes a bad habit. And unless we take some time to go, I'm going to break that for a while and just see how I do, or I'm going to spend that time with God.

Um, it really helps us become more aware of our daily life and our daily rhythms. Absolutely. So if you choose to fast social media for a season, which we're finding and actually encouraging some people to consider the time that you used to scroll, um, and you don't know, you'll feel it. It will capture her. It's like, grab your phone. You'll be like, no, I'm not going to do that. And then all of a sudden you're reaching over.

There I go. So I'm reorienting my mind and my body, um, away from that to meet my needs back to God. If I skip chocolate, my body will feel it. Um, and it will wake up to what's happening. I don't like this. I, I, I missed that. Um, and we're, so we're kind of doing that on purpose.

Um, the idea is then to replace the thing that we're fasting with something else. So if we're scrolling social media a lot, then just not doing that and just sitting quiet for a few minutes, which tried that for a while, we all are going to have a hard time with that one. Um, but again, it's saying, I don't need that as much as I need God or even sitting and reading the scripture or praying or listening to something that's life giving. Um, some people give up food, some types of food, but this is not a dieting plan. So we encourage people don't set a weight loss goal here. This is don't let, don't just give up bad habits. Um, now if Lynn can push you in the right direction, if you have something that you know that you crave or whatever, and this can move you in that direction, then that's okay.

But we're trying not to let this kind of be the Christian form of what the wire wider world uses January for, which is a bunch of new year's resolutions and set goals and get rid of our vices. And so, so it's a different, it's a different thing than that. Um, and so if the season of land is a season of fasting, then it's the 40 days leading up to Easter. Well, Easter is a season of feasting and I don't know if we'll ever talk about it, but Easter is not also just a day. Yeah, it's actually a season. Um, and, but these are feasting days. And so, but during lent lent, it's to remind us of what's to come.

Uh, it's recommended by many churches that you on Sunday you break your fast and so you feast, you have a feast. So it's like having a mini Easter, you know, because reminding us that we're not going to live in the desert forever, that there's something that, that, that God did that pulls us out of that. So now again, remember, this is not about your moral perfection. God is not impressed if we go 40 days without doing something. We don't get merit badges for doing this. Um, the goal of Lent is not to impress other people or measure ourselves against others. So if you're fasting social media, you probably don't want to go on social media and tell everybody you're fasting for land.

Um, the, uh, you're, uh, that we're doing this during this season. And so it's just, again, reminding us that we need God. Um, we do not need food as much as we need. God is what we're trying to remind ourselves of. Um, we certainly don't need chocolate or coffee or Facebook or video games or whatever, as much as we need God. And so, um, when we remember that we need God, um, something in our dependence actually changes. Something begins to morph inside of us.

I think Lent can remind us to kind of turn a new towards God, to really look for him, to really be more intentional in looking for him. I've been reading in the gospels lately and particularly in Mark, I was struck by this phrase a couple of different times. And it's when he saw Jesus, when he saw Jesus. So the demoniac in Mark five, it says, when he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. And we know the story goes on. Jesus delivered him from a legion of demons. And then Jairus it's a same chapter, but Jairus, um, the synagogue leader, it says, when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet.

And we know from that that Jesus went on and healed his daughter. This is a time that we want to go. I want to see Jesus. And if that means giving up some things, if that means being much more intentional than during the season of Lent, I'm going to focus on seeing Jesus focusing my attention or intention towards him instead of anything else. Because I think most of us know when we really get that look of Jesus, when we really look at him, focus on him, we're changed. And that's what we want. And that's what God wants for our lives is that we're changing to healthier people.

So Rowan Williams, one of the most significant theologians in our time writes that looking at Jesus seriously changes things. So if you don't want to be changed, it's better not to look too hard and too long at Jesus. Um, so the entire Christian life is lived by grace. It's this gift of God's strength that he gives to us. It's lived out of weakness, not out of strength. I think that's such a critical thing to understand in healthy living. Um, this is not just by our own efforting or being good or looking good to others and doing all following all the right rules.

It's really lived out of a place of no, I got nothing. God, you have everything. And, and I'm putting my life in your hands. It's lived in light of God's glory revealed both on the mountain of transfiguration on the mountain of Calvary. So the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, what feels like it's happening around us. It's lived in in both of those places and everywhere in between. So may our lives be formed by God's sacrificial love.

And, and the whole point of this is so that we shine his light into the world that we are a brighter reflection of him. Now by the time that you hear this, um, podcast there will be some Lent left.

I mean, we're already in it. And so you won't get this for a couple more weeks, but there's going to be some Lent left. Okay. And so our encouragement is to lean into this place of dependence on God, whatever that looks like for you, whatever you recognize that I think I've been running this part of my life on my own, um, or I keep slipping into this same pattern that I know is not healthy. Um, and it's just simply opening our life up into a deeper way. And so let these next days left of Lent be that encouragement for you to be open to God's love for you to move into the rest of your days. Um, that this season might touch the rest of your days, the rest of this year, and that the way of fullness of life is to recognize our weakness and to trust in his strength.

So for today, go in peace, blessings as you go. The Life in Love Nuggets podcast is a 501c3 nonprofit and is supported by gifts from people like you to donate, go to lifeinlovenuggets.com slash donate. This podcast is produced by Clayton creative in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The content should not be considered or used for counseling, but for educational purposes only. Okay.