Change: Part 1 (Episode 31)

Whether we like it or not, our lives are in a process of constant change. Brent and Janis talk about how to navigate these changes. In Part 1, they look at the inevitable changes we will experience along with sudden changes that we never asked for.

Help us reach more couples! You can donate at https://www.lifeandlovenuggets.com/donate (tax-deductible).

The Life & Love Nuggets podcast will help you learn valuable insights into relationships, life, and love. Brent and Janis have been empowering couples through pre-marriage and marriage therapy in their private practice, Life Connection Counseling, since 1982. They recently retired after forty years of pastoral ministry and are continuing to help individuals, marriages and families in their private practice.

The podcast is produced by Clayton Creative in Tulsa, Oklahoma. The content should not be considered or used for counseling but for educational purposes only.

Transcript:

[Brent]: Welcome back, friends, to Life & Love Nuggets. This is actually our 31st episode.

[Janis]: Does that mean we're officially grown up? 31?

[Brent]: Maybe?

[Janis]: I think so.

[Brent]: We knew we were supposed to start this. We didn't know where it was going to go. We still don't know, but we are moving forward and this has been over a half a year now. So, we've actually received some very encouraging responses from people that--

[Janis]: And not just from our children.

[Brent]: Not just from our children.

[Janis]: Yeah. Which I think is awesome.

[Brent]: That is awesome. That some of this is helping and so, that was our whole point behind this. It's always helpful, actually, for those of you that are listening or watching, to subscribe for the podcast and on YouTube, and even leaving a review on Apple podcasts can just help others find us.

[Janis]: As long as it's a really good one.

[Brent]: Yes, exactly. As long as the review is really good.

[Janis]: If you don't like us, don't leave a review, please.

[Brent]: Yes, yes, and if this is meaningful to you and you would like to help us keep the podcast going forward, we do have a cost that's involved in this. Now, we knew we were supposed to just start it and kind of cover that initially ourselves. But if you want to help, if you want to jump in, actually, any kind of gift would be helpful going forward. You can actually go to lifeandlovenuggets.com/donate. Lifeandlovenuggets (all typed out) .com/donate and also, we would love to have some questions. If you would like us to cover certain topics or answer some questions, maybe things that we've already covered in the podcast, all these topics, and you had some questions about some of those things or wanted us to go a little farther with a certain area. We would love to have your questions and be able to respond a little more personally through the podcast.

[Janis]: We won't say your name.

[Brent]: We won't say your name, but you would actually send those to info@lifeandlovenuggets.com. So, info@lifeandlovenuggets.com and we might be able to respond to those in some future podcasts. For the next few episodes, we're going to talk about change. This is a big deal, all the different facets of change and today we're going to start talking about change that's inevitable.

[Janis]: Now, we can't talk about change without talking about our son, Spencer.

[Brent]: Yes.

[Janis]: Our son Spencer did not like change. The classic Spencer story with change was for many, many years, we would go to Brent's house, Brent's families in Indiana for Thanksgiving, and we would always stay with his brother and his wife and it was just kind of our tradition to do that. Well, one year, I think it was your parents 40th anniversary, they were paying for us to go to Disney and so, it was Easter, and our kids were opening or getting all their Easter basket, Easter things together and we said “guys, we have something to tell you”.

[Brent]: So, it wasn't like the week before thanksgiving, we sprung this on--

[Janis]: No, it was Easter, and it was early April, I believe, that year.

[Brent]: Yes, yes.

[Janis]: And so, we said “well, we have some really exciting news. For Thanksgiving this year we're going to go to Disney World” and Spencer, who was about five at the time, I think went “Disney World!? We don't do Disney World for Thanksgiving! We go to Aunt Carol's house! Why would we do Disney World!? We don't do Disney World!”. So, we try to explain to him “this is a good thing”.

[Brent]: “This is good”.

[Janis]: “Most kids like Disney World. You do know what Disney World is?” and he was like “yes”. So, we try to talk him down. We finally get to where he's just not beside himself and our oldest son, Preston, said “and it's going to be great because we're all going to go on an airplane together!” and Spencer said “airplane!? Nobody told me we were going on an airplane!”. So, Spencer does not like change.

[Brent]: Yes. Now, his wonderful wife has helped stir that up in him.

[Janis]: Yes!

[Brent]: And they do a lot of wonderful things.

[Janis]: They do a lot of things and she is a seven, and she is so good for him.

[Brent]: Yes, yes. Now, some personalities are different, of course, when it comes to change. We've talked about that. I'm an Enneagram one/nine, and I like to get things-- Everything in order. I like to get it all fixed just right, and I don't want you to mess with it. Now, you're a seven and so, you kind of like change.

[Janis]: I have a lot of creative ideas of things we should change and places we should go. Adventures.

[Brent]: Yes. Now, I love adventures. I've learned to really have fun with those kinds of things. But we're talking more here about change that does not always seem so positive on the surface and so, what do we do with this?

[Janis]: Well, most people say they hate change, and oftentimes you'll hear parents say “gosh, I wish my kids were just babies” or they'll look back on the past with all these fond memories and think that it's a simpler time. But if you really think about it, do you want your three-year-old to stay three years old the rest of their lives? And do we really want to be back in that college age? Or that for us, post college age, where we were living in student housing and I think our kitchen table was a cardboard box? And we ate box macaroni and cheese for a number of meals? I don't think that's necessarily what we would want.

[Brent]: Yes, absolutely. All of life involves changes. There's natural inevitable changes we're going to talk about a little bit today. There's certainly unwanted change, change that we don't expect, don't want and then there are some things that are just necessary, things that we need to be changing and then if we identify that we need to change something, how do we actually do it? How do we actually change behavior or change attitudes or focus? So, we're going to talk about each of these a little bit for the next few times together. Now, this first one, the natural inevitable life changes. This is like aging. Those aches and pains that seem to creep up on us, where we get out of bed and everything hurts. I remember-- I don't know if it was on my 35th birthday, but I remember about that age when I started getting out of bed and going “oh my gosh, why am I so stiff?”.

[Janis]: We call those “old man noises”.

[Brent]: Oh my word, and that's when I begin “I'm going to start going to the gym regularly, because I can either hurt this way and just by being alive, or I can have some hurt that's actually producing something positive”. Kids growing up, moving out, having their own families, not needing as much; we all go through these developmental stages.

[Janis]: We do and most of the time when we think about developmental stages, we think about babies and toddlers. You know, when you have a baby, you suddenly start reading the books or listening to the podcast or going online to check for developmental stages. “Is my child doing what they're supposed to do at this particular time?” and, you know, it's so easy to compare at that age. So, it's “gosh, the neighbor's kid is talking in full sentences and they're the exact same age as my kid and my kid's kind of saying ‘mama, dada’ or just ‘dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad’” and so, we do see those stages when they're little, but we also have natural stages or transitions that we go through as we mature. When you think about kids, you think about kids learning to read or riding a bike, or they grow taller, they go through puberty and as parents, we adapt to the changes that are happening in their lives, but we also have changes in our lives.

[Brent]: Yeah. I think kids-- I remember when our kids were starting to drive. That was a huge change. I remember putting-- I think I did this with all four of them, but I remember the very first time they were finally able to drive on their own, we didn't have to be in the car and I remember them getting in their car, pulling out of the driveway, thinking “I need to follow them! What are we doing here!? How can we let them be doing this on their own!? There's a lot of stuff that can happen out there!” and it was quite a change. I think, you know, graduating from high school and the freedoms that they begin to have and each one of these stages, as we're going to talk about, has mixed emotions.

[Janis]: Yeah.

[Brent]: Graduating from high school is an exciting time for our kids. This is why we raise our kids to go on to the next stage. But then there's also some sadness. There's some grief that we feel from some of these losses and so, same with getting married. There's certain excitements and then there's certain losses. Having children, there's certain excitements and certain losses. I know all-- We deal with a lot of young couples with young kids, and particularly those that waited a little while before they had children, you know? They were just going along, having fun.

[Janis]: Yes.

[Brent]: Buying a house and traveling, doing all this kind of stuff, and then all of a sudden, it feels like it all screeched to a stop, now we've got a little one. Which is amazing!

[Janis]: Which is awesome.

[Brent]: Which is awesome and yet, I remember being able to sleep.

[Janis]: Yeah.

[Brent]: You know, we can't go anywhere anymore. I mean, it's just all of these things have really mixed things in our life.

[Janis]: I think that one in particular is a transition that people don't talk about enough and so, I have people come in for counseling, and it's like “what happened?”. Because most people go “oh, we have a little baby and everything's fine”. But that's a huge transition.

[Brent]: Yeah, and some of these, like having children or getting married, is a choice.

[Janis]: Right

[Brent]: That we're actually deciding to create change in our life and yet, there's others that are just inevitable. They're just things that are going to happen, we don't get to decide about them and so, we have to accept them. How do we adapt to them? That's what we're talking about here.

[Janis]: Right. So, we hear people talking about the quarter life crisis. People at 25 going “I don't know what I'm going to do with my life”. For years, decades, we've heard about a midlife crisis that people go through, when they buy the red sports car. But I think there's also-- I was going to make a joke there, but I'll let it go. I think there's also an aging crisis.

[Brent]: Yes.

[Janis]: I think-- Accepting the fact that you're aging. I was talking to somebody the other day, and I said “I almost feel like we have like, a 25-year-old crisis, a 45- or 50-year-old crisis. A 65-year-old crisis when you get that Social Security card or--”. You know what I mean?

[Brent]: Yes

[Janis]: “And an 85-year-old crisis”, when you adapt to “I really need to make some changes in my life”. You know, some changes are welcome. So, if you're a middle school boy and you suddenly have this growth spurt and you're six foot tall, you don't have any problem adapting to that change. It's like “wow! This is great! I'm happy to adapt to this change”. But when you start recognizing that you're aging, on the other hand, it's something we have to look at and we have to adapt to. We may not like it.

[Brent]: Yeah.

[Janis]: There's some things about it, like the creaky joints or the pain in the morning, that we just may not like.

[Brent]: Yeah. Oh, for sure. Again, we have these rites of passage for kids and graduating high school, getting licensed and all those kinds of things and as we age, we have these times where a salesperson is calling me “Mr. Sharp”, and it's like “I don't think you're that much younger than I am”, you know?

[Janis]: That’s right.

[Brent]: Or the first time we get the senior citizens discount, and it's obvious, they don't even ask us.

[Janis]: Yeah, they just give it to us.

[Brent]: They just automatically give it to us. “This is just wrong”.

[Janis]: Yes.

[Brent]: These kinds of changes--

[Janis]: I hate going to the doctor's office and handing them my Medicare card and they don't look startled.

[Brent]: Right.

[Janis]: I want them to go “could this possibly be you?”

[Brent]: “Oh my word, how could this possibly--?”

[Janis]: Yeah, that doesn't. You know, I remember my mom telling me she'd gone to the grocery store, and she was standing there to check out, and the checker said “we have a chair over there, ma'am. You can go over there and sit down” and she thought “well, I'm not sick” and she goes “no, no, I'm fine. I can stand here” and the girl said “well, we provide that for all of our elderly customers, so they can sit down while we check out their groceries” and she came home and she went “Elderly? Elderly!? She called me elderly! Oh, I'm 85... I guess I am considered elderly at this point. I just never thought of myself that way”.

[Brent]: Yeah.

[Janis]: So, in a sense, our identity changes as we move through life stages, and we have to adapt to those changes into who we are. So, as you said, some changes are chosen by fairly normal life circumstances. One of those is-- Or two of those is getting a new job or changing houses, moving to a different house and those all require us to process some of our emotions and some grief. Things are different than they used to be. So, just as you were talking about the other things, there's loss, there's gain.

[Brent]: Yeah.

[Janis]: So, it's a mixed bag of emotions. I even had a friend recently that moved 5 miles within Tulsa, and she said “it's silly, but I've had to go to a new grocery store now, and I get my gas at a different place, and we're going to restaurants that we didn't before, just because we've changed”. So, even good changes like that can have their mixed emotions that come with them. So, these are things that we just have to adapt to.

[Brent]: Yeah. So, those are inevitable changes. There are things that are going to happen to all of us. Again, not chosen, but going to happen and then, there are certainly some changes that are forced upon us. So, we have a death in our family, loss of a job, divorce, natural disaster. All of these things are things that feel like they're forced upon us, and these take time. There's not any of these that we get over fast. We've talked about grief and all the different parts of grief and how we just swirl in our emotions and go in and out of all these things and-- So, they weren’t-- These things weren't expected oftentimes and are not necessarily inevitable, they just happen to us and this is where we find people dealing with complicated grief, you know? It's difficult and again, we've dealt with grief a lot in our previous podcast. We're not going to go into all of that, but just know you need time. It's the importance of recognizing that it's a marathon, not a sprint, that it's going to take time, and part of you is going to want to fight it. You know, “someone say that I-- I heard someone say that I'm sick of being told that I need to accept the new normal”.

[Janis]: Right.

[Brent]: “I cannot accept this”.

[Janis]: Yeah.

[Brent]: You're going to feel that.

[Janis]: People will say “it's never going to be normal again”.

[Brent]: Yeah. No, it never will be the same and so, it is a challenge to adapt to that, to recognize that we're in the midst of this. This is ultimately we recognize it is reality, and then begin to adapt to what life is afterwards and so, it's a time where we need people. One of the things that we encourage people to not let happen is to isolate. But it's easy to isolate when you're discouraged and you're mad and you don't like this and “I didn't want this!” and so, we tend to pull in and so, that's why we tell people if people are going through these, go after them, because they may not naturally want to come and connect.

[Janis]: Go after them to take them to lunch, to bring a meal over or that type of thing. Be present with them.

[Brent]: Yeah, the key is being present and not trying to give them answers. As we've talked about, not giving them simple little things that are going to fix it all, because there's not a fix. But there is something about being present, about caring for people. They need support. You know, these are the times where people oftentimes it's helpful for them to get some counseling, to have somebody to walk through this with them or get in a group that's dealing with these kinds of matters.

[Janis]: Yeah. Create a support group.

[Brent]: Yeah, and so, the greatest blessing that any of us can be to somebody that's going through these is just simply to be present. But people-- It's easy for people to get stuck, you know? And it's hard for them to move through these and to come to that place of acceptance.

[Janis]: But we all go through some kinds of changes and no matter how much we want to try to keep things the same, things will change. It's inevitable. So, it's asking ourselves “what do we do?”. Apart from the complicated grief that we talked about listening to our grief podcast, what do we do and how do we adapt to some of those inevitable changes? I think for most of us, the first step that we take is we try to control somehow-- “I'm going to make this the same”.

[Brent]: We try to control things. We humans try to control things.

[Janis]: Yeah. Other people do, though. Not us, Brent, we don't.

[Brent]: Oh gosh.

[Janis]: But I was thinking the other day about our daughter Caitlin lived in Michigan for a few years, and I would go up there and stay with her. Well, one time I was up there in the summer, and we decided to take a little road trip in Michigan. So, we went up to the Sleeping Bear Dunes and we hiked them and, you know, we were having so much fun and then we came back down and we got in the car and started driving, and her car made the most horrific noise I've ever heard. It was like, metal on metal. It was like… I mean, it was terrible and we drive a little farther and it made this awful noise. So, she pulled to the side of the road and it was-- You know, we're just sitting there going “Huh, what do we do?”.

[Brent]: I remember this because I was--

[Janis]: On the cell phone.

[Brent]: 700 miles away.

[Janis]: Yes, you were. Yes, you were, and so, we were like “okay, we'll probably should call AAA” and she moved forward a little bit and it made that awful noise and so, I said “okay. Well, we'll call AAA. We'll take care of this” and so, then she put the car in reverse and she goes “I just need to get it off the road a little more”. So, she put the car in reverse and it didn't make that noise. So, she backed up a little farther and it didn't make that noise and then she pulled forward to get off the road and it didn't make that noise. So, she drove a little further and we were like “the noise is gone”. We now think it was like a rock or something that was caught in there. It gets [Unintelligible] and it was making the noise.

[Janis]: But we both started talking and we laughed because without talking to each other, we both had come up with a complex plan of what we were going to do. It was like “okay, we'll call AAA, then we'll go back to the resort that we stayed in before and ask them if we can stay another night. Then we'll do this”. I mean, we both had because we wanted to have some kind of control.

[Brent]: Yeah.

[Janis]: “I'm going to make a plan and I'm going to have some kind of control”. But the inevitable changes in our life we have very little control over. We have to let ourselves grieve that and yes, there's a few things we can control, but we can't control the overall situation and I think that's hard for us. You know, oftentimes what we do is we go “I'm going to control this, so I won't feel so much pain, so this won't feel so uncomfortable”. Because we don't like to grieve. We don't like the awkwardness that comes.

[Brent]: Yeah.

[Janis]: But when we rush to try to change or to make a plan and don't let ourselves actually be in that grief, that's when we can oftentimes jump to counterfeits. Our brain wants to protect us from pain and so, it presents all of these options that's like “oh, you could do this or you could do this”, but oftentimes they're counterfeits. They're things that aren't necessarily good for us.

[Brent]: Yeah. Well, we see that so much with divorce and the death of a spouse. We have this feeling of rejection, we have this feeling of loss, of huge grief and we tend to the brain. We tend to “well, how do I fix this? How do I relieve this pain?” and people then too quickly begin to go “well, the way I relieve that pain is another person”. That's why we say we shouldn't be making any big decisions for at least a year after one of those, because people aren't objective. It's very tunnel vision. It's like if “I have this, then it's going to resolve that pain” and I tell people particularly that have gone through divorce, “you're just not picky enough, you're not choosy”.

[Janis]: Right.

[Brent]: Because the first person that comes along that shows interest in you and that you have a little bit of chemistry with--

[Janis]: And you felt comfort from.

[Brent]: Yes, that you felt comfortable with.

[Janis]: You're distracted from your pain.

[Brent]: Yeah. So, all of a sudden, I'm bleeding with feelings of loss or rejection or whatever and somebody cares for that pain and it's “I found the answer” and people just jump too fast and so, the rebound idea is a thing. That's why it's a thing because people want to control it. They want to fix it too quickly and so, it's a problem when we try to plan our way out of things that we need to learn how to just be in.

[Janis]: Yeah, and it's even changes that aren't huge, like divorce or death.

[Brent]: Yeah, yeah.

[Janis]: And that every day inevitable changes--

[Brent]: That aren't, you said?

[Janis]: I think so.

[Brent]: Yeah. Those are big ones.

[Janis]: Yes, yes. I think I said-- If I didn't say that, here aren't. Yes. Anyway, if we don't accept that we don't have control over some of the changes, we're going to find ourselves angry, bitter or resentful. We have to accept that change is going to happen. Now, it doesn't mean that we can't do something with those inevitable life changes. Here's a few things that I think we should talk about when we experience change or loss.

[Brent]: Yeah. So, kind of three simple kind of frameworks or ways to think about these and be-- The first one is we just have to accept the fact that everything does change, including you. No one stays the same forever. Our bodies change, our interests change, our preferences change, our emotions change, seasons change. Learning to accept the fact that change will occur helps repair us for the moment it does. Fighting it, which we kind of have a world that does fight this. We fight aging, we fight all those kinds of things. But fighting it is actually counterproductive because it doesn't stop it and then, it almost is worse, because I'm not actually accepting the fact that it's real and it makes it more difficult. So, we have to accept how things are now.

[Janis]: Yeah. A couple of years ago I was asking a family member what they wanted for Christmas and they mentioned they wanted a particular sports jersey or something and I said “well what size should I get?” and he said “well, I'm what you call a Marge” and I was like “what?”. He goes “I'm wearing a medium, but I really do need a large. So, go ahead and get me a marge or a large” and oftentimes, I think there's areas of our life that we're marges in. We don't want to adapt to the change, we're trying to stay the same, but it's uncomfortable.

[Brent]: Yeah.

[Janis]: It doesn't fit; pun there. It doesn't fit the way it should. So, it's to recognize where are areas that I'm a marge. You know, it can be in all kinds of ways that we refuse change. We've had a guy over the years in our neighborhood that runs in his-- Probably his college shorts and he's probably in his forties and they just don't fit anymore and you want to go “hey, you're not going to go back there, dear. I'm sorry, but you're not going to go back there. We've got to move on”. Now, I seem to remember a movie years ago, so I don't even remember which one it was, but it was a mother that was trying to keep her daughter young. Kept dressing her young, kept acting like she was little as she became an adult and it was creepy. It's not right to try to keep things the same. So, again, what are ways that we are fighting change? And what would it look like to embrace change in our lives instead of fighting it?

[Brent]: Yeah. So, the second is, appreciate what was. Oftentimes when we feel a loss of something or something changes and we experience that sense of loss or regret, it skews our focus, that grabs our attention and we forget to appreciate what was. That there was good in the chapter before and so, making sure that we don't allow ourselves to drown in the emotions of loss and regret, but to remember what was. So, we have a friend who, from time to time, will just simply say “it's time to turn the page and begin a new chapter”. We move forward little by little. All we have to do is take the next step. But again, appreciating the previous chapter. What was good in the previous chapter? Whether that was with our job that we lost, what did I appreciate about the fact that I was able to do there? I feel like I was used in that way, even though I'm sad that I can't be anymore and so, maybe this week, taking some time and listing out about what our past experiences were and what we can appreciate about them and what we can be grateful for.

[Janis]: And as we adapt, we do have to remember that it takes courage, it takes creativity. You know, we appreciate the past and we're grateful for the past and as we look at the future, we need to say “is there a different way that I can look at some things? Is there a way that I can adapt?”. You know, I think there's kind of a mix of not finding change, appreciating your past, and “how do I deal with that now?”. I had a client a number of years ago that was a professional athlete and her sport was an outdoor sport. Of course, in the past we didn't wear sunscreen, but a lot of us in our generation wore baby oil.

[Brent]: Oh my gosh, yes.

[Janis]: Which was horrible. But I remember she came in one day and she had just been to the doctor and she said “I went in to get more of these age spots and sunspots removed and my doctor said to me that there was no way we could do anything else, that this was as good as it was going to possibly get because of the sun damage” and so, she was so discouraged and we started talking a little bit more and we came to the conclusion that she had a lot of great years in her sport. She did a lot of competitions, she won, it's where she found a lot of joy and so, I said “what would happen if every time you looked at one of those spots, you said ‘wow, I remember the time I was in this race. I remember this and this’”. It keeps you from the what ifs and if only that so many of us have in life, but it's adapting to where we're at right now. Nothing in life is perfect, but we can look at some of the things that brought us joy in the past and say “I needed that in order to get here”.

[Brent]: Yeah, and the third thing we just want to look at quickly is, anticipate what will be, think about the good that's coming and so, if things are changing, if our children are beginning to grow up, we're thinking about them leaving for college, and we're sad about that and we start going back through the years of all the time and experience we had with them and the joys of all those things, what are things that we can have going forward? We love the time with each of our four were little and they were growing and developing and it was awesome. But as they were going out from the house, we had the idea of how does-- We were going to have an opportunity to just sit with them and have coffee together and be adults now.

[Janis]: Even traveling as all adults was really fun.

[Brent]: Yeah, yeah, and so, one of the stages that we kind of had the unique experience with, because we were a little older when we had kids and then our kids waited a little while before they had kids, that we had this opportunity for everybody to be adults and some of them were-- As they were getting married and stuff, but no kids yet and, boy, we had such a great time of traveling and being together and it was so easy to travel with--

[Janis]: With all adults.

[Brent]: With all adults, and everybody just gathered and do their thing and come back and we'd do stuff together and that was amazing and so, if there’s people that are having their children leave and move on, there's some really cool, amazing stuff together. It's wonderful to really love your kids as they're adults and who they've become and so--

[Janis]: And we don't even need to go into how wonderful it is then once grandbabies happen.

[Brent]: Yes, yes. Now, that's happened now and it’s--

[Janis]: It's a change, but it's a very good change.

[Brent]: Oh my gosh, yes.

[Janis]: There was good in the past and there's good in this change as well.

[Brent]: Yes, the grandparenting gig is the most amazing on the planet.

[Janis]: Yes, yes.

[Brent]: Yes, and so, we're enjoying that stage now.

[Janis]: So, every stage has its own advantages. There's good in everything that we're going through and sometimes we really have to stop and evaluate what was good in the past and what's good now. “What are the good things in this stage that I get to do now?”.

[Brent]: Yeah, yeah.

[Janis]: Because we get to do different things and then even looking at the future and saying “what are some positive things that I can look forward to?” and maybe even asking ourselves “am I being a marge in some ways? And I'm refusing to change in ways that I really do need to change” and I think, most importantly, “how do I adapt?”. I think we all have different ways that we need to adapt to whatever the change is. I remember, you'll probably remember too, a guy that we knew in college that was a runner, very gifted runner, but something happened physically and he couldn't run anymore and he became a racewalker and that was in the early days of racewalking.

[Brent]: Yeah. Right, right.

[Janis]: That was in the early days of the world overall. But it was interesting to see how he adapted to that rather than just quitting altogether. So, to wrap it up, changes in life are inevitable, but God has good for us in every stage, no matter where we're at. Every season of life, we grieve the things that we don't have, but we also look for the good and we trust in God and all the goodness that he has for us today and in each day of our lives.

[Brent]: Yeah. So, as we all go forward and embracing the reality of change in our life, we trust the good that's ahead. So, bless you as you go. Go in peace today.